I need a head lamp, AND, I think I'm Becoming my Mother

It is about 9:20 pm, I was just outside--working in my yard! I put Watson down for bed around 9 pm and really was kicking myself for not using my time more wisely today. I did attend a gardening class at Thanksgiving Point--thank you, Scott, for spending time with Watson while I picked the brain of the instructor.  However, not much else got accomplished. I've been itching to get out to my yard and get my hands dirty and my plants in order. Due to my massivity last August and my C-section and brand new baby recovery through September and October and November, my yard has been a bit neglected. It bugs me every time I drive home. I still have plants that need cutting back and the weeds are starting to green up quick. I can't seem to figure out the best way to keep Watson busy outside while I work (but last Saturday he managed an hour or so staying occupied and happy in a little exer-saucer.) And, he isn't consistently napping for a long enough period of time where it makes sense for me to get dirty and get something done.  I've got to get this figured out because a pretty yard and a little vegetable garden are part of what makes me me.
So, this leads me to tonight, gardening by the porch and street light. I didn't do much but cut a few things back and clean up some of the leaves I could see. I think I'm a little crazy for doing it at this time of night. But, it reminds of the time my mom wanted to paint her mailbox--it was summertime, and warm outside, and my mom always has a list of "to do's" that take a little while to "get done." I think she finally got to the mailbox around 10 o'clock, out there with her paints and water and flashlight. I remember thinking she was a little bit crazy, but now, I get it. My priority is my kids. I love spending time with them. I feel joy EVERY SINGLE DAY because of them. So I guess the next 18 years or so will be with me doing some little crazy thing because I can't quite fit it in while the boys are up and about. IAnd I guess I need to dig out Scott's headlamp so I'm better prepared the next time my gardening itch needs to be scratched after dark.

On the Other Hand

Watson is SIX months old! He doesn't mind my picture taking and really is his genuine self--at all times. Why can't we stay this way forever? Love it!

It happened at NINE...

I've been reviewing my pictures taken the last five years or so and have noticed a major change with Chandler.  The transition from "happy go lucky, take a picture of my smiling face" to "i don't really want to smile too much and how does my hair look?" really started happening this year.  When did this happen? Why did this happen?  He really is concerned about what he wears (skinny jeans are preferred but he only owns two pair, both of which was bought by the other mother) and his hair is growing, growing, growing. He complains about his teeth and remarks frequently of his need for braces.  In due time, we tell him. He is only nine, ok, almost ten, but still. I long for the days when he would just be happy most of the time and didn't mind my being a shutterbug---

It is so hard for me to get a genuine smile from him once I pull out the camera nowadays. He'd prefer to be hidden, just so you have to guess what he's really thinking---

I guess I'll just have to be sneakier.
I remember a time I didn't like my picture taken, it probably started around ten years old. It took me a long time, until my late twenties, to decide that I really did want to be myself in those forever images so I decided to smile more genuinely. I hope Chandler decides this too, but earlier than his twenties. A good reminder to me too, to smile more in pictures and just accept the extra wrinkles and life weight residue and be happy!

WOW!!!

I have to update progress with Watson's sleeping---he is actually getting some on a regular basis around here!  Actually, we're on the third day of "crying to sleep" and things are going much better than I ever anticipated. He is napping at more regular times, for longer periods, while in his crib. It's like something magical has happened. He still cries for a bit before settling into a peaceful slumber but its not that bad. So, despite the mistakes I made in his earlier life with no routine and putting him in bed with me, he is doing fantastic! Yeah for teachable children!  And Yeah for teachable mothers!